[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]you think she was going to be? I shook my head and stepped on the elevator. I rubbed my forehead as
the doors shut, and Denny stood there looking at me.
***
I thought you were on a road trip to Michigan? Dr. Peters asked as I walked into his office.
Let s just say that the trip got cut short, I replied as I stood in front of his large office window.
Judging by the way you look and the way you re talking, something bad must ve happened. Sit
down, and let s talk about it.
I don t want to sit down; I m fine standing here. I took in a deep breath, Ellery dropped a bomb
on me.
Continue, he said.
She has cancer, and she s known about it before we even met. She didn t tell me, and she s
refusing to get treatment, so she s just going to let herself die and to hell with everyone and anyone
who loves her.
What did you do when you found out? he asked.
I turned around and looked at him. I yelled and said some really nasty things to her, then stormed
out. I put her on plane back here while I drove back alone. There was no way I could be alone with
her in a car for 10 hours.
I can understand that. Just a few days ago you told me you were just friends taking a simple road
trip. Did you sleep with her?
I walked over to the chair across from him and sat down. Yes, we slept together, and I wish we
wouldn t have because it wouldn t be this hard.
It wouldn t have mattered if you slept with her or not. You re in love with this woman, and don t
you dare try to deny it, he said as he pointed his finger at me.
You re right; I m in love with her. I gave myself to her after I promised I would never give myself
emotionally to any woman, and she took what I gave her, then ripped it to pieces. How do I ever get
over the fact that she lied and hid a huge secret from me?
I got up from the chair because the more I thought and talked about it, the angrier I became. I told
her about Amanda and everything that happened. I told her about how I use women for sex and then
throw them away.
He took off his glasses and looked at me. Was that before or after you slept with her?
Before I slept with her; why the hell does it matter when I told her?
You told Ellery what kind of man you are, and you warned her. You told her about your past,
which you ve never shared with anyone besides me, and she still wanted you. She obviously loved
you enough and saw something inside you to continue the relationship.
Damn it, Dr. Peters. This is different; I m not dying! I snapped.
I m not defending what she did was right, Connor. She should have told you from the beginning
about her illness, but she had her reasons; just like you had your reasons for keeping quiet about your
past. Please tell me you told her about Ashlyn.
I started to pace back and forth across the room. No, I didn t tell her about Ashlyn. She kept
asking me, but I kept putting it off. I wasn t ready to tell her yet.
Interesting, Dr. Peters said as he rubbed his chin. You weren t ready to tell her about Ashlyn,
and she wasn t ready to tell you about her illness. You two have some serious issues to work out.
We have nothing to work out. We re not together anymore. I just want the pain to stop so I can
move on with my life.
Pain is a part of loving someone, and it s something that just doesn t go away. I don t believe
you ve given up on her. I know her secret hurt you, and I know you re in a lot of pain, but I think the
two of you can work through this. My professional opinion is that you and Ellery need each other in
more ways than one. This is the first girl since Amanda that you ve let into your life. Have you
stopped to ask yourself why that is? Why Ellery Lane? Of all the women you ve seen and been with
over the past 12 years, you chose her. You saw something rare and special in her, and you couldn t
stay away. Her keeping this secret from you is a big deal, and I m not condoning it, but I wouldn t let
it completely ruin you. Take some time to think about it. Your emotions will go through different
stages. Right now, you re hurting pretty bad, next, you ll be angry, but that s ok. Be angry, Connor,
because you ll never begin to heal if you re not. Just don t let it cloud your judgment or consume
you.
He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. You ll be ok. Time heals all wounds, and
you need to give it time.
I nodded my head and walked out of his office. He was right; I needed time to think, but my head
was so clouded that I didn t want to think about anything besides going to a bar and drinking my
troubles away. I looked at my watch, and it was only 2:00 pm.
I headed back to the penthouse and grabbed my gym bag. As I was heading towards the door,
Claire walked in.
Connor? I didn t expect you back for a few more days, she said.
There was a change of plans, Claire, I said as I stepped in the elevator.
Do you want me to cook for you tonight?! she yelled from across the hall.
No, I m dining out tonight, I said as the elevator doors shut.
***
The gym was crowded more than usual today. I changed into my workout clothes, put my iPod on,
and jumped on the treadmill. The treadmill I was on was facing the window that looked out onto the
streets of New York City. Guns N Roses was playing on my iPod as I ran fast. I was doing ok until
their song November Rain began to play. I should have played the next song, but I couldn t bring
myself to turn it off. The lyrics reminded me of Ellery and our situation. I needed to keep it together
for fuck sake; I m in a public place. As I was running and staring at the crowds of people walking
down the street, I saw her. She stopped in front of the window and pulled out her phone from her
purse. She looked like I did, broken and pained. She was still beautiful, and it hurt to see her. She
started walking down the street again, and I wanted to run after her, but I couldn t. I needed space and
time, and so did she.
I wanted to do some laps around the pool by myself, so I paid the manager a great deal of money to
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